


Badluck for my Valentine

by bfmv_saga



Category: Fairly OddParents
Genre: Alcohol, Bad Spanish, Bodyswap, Bows & Arrows, British Slang, Courtroom Drama, Engagement, Epic Battles, Family Bonding, Fantastic Racism, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, Hostage Situations, Hypnotism, Kissing in the Rain, Lima Syndrome, Loss of Powers, Love Confessions, Love Potion/Spell, Love/Hate, Magical Tattoos, Marriage Contracts, Memory Magic, Mild Language, One Hell of a Butler, Partner Swapping, Platonic Kissing, Separations, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-01-17
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-09-15 15:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16935747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bfmv_saga/pseuds/bfmv_saga
Summary: Based in the year 2009. What happens when Friday the 13th meets Valentine's Day? The anti-fairies spread hate to earth with the help of Anti-Cupid while the Anti-Cosmas plot to capture Timmy to become their godchild. Will they succeed? -Revised Version- (April 18th, 2019- chapters 9-13 are being reconstructed.)





	1. Story Index

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read **Badluck for my Valentine** for the first, or may be the 10th time? I made this convenient page so you'll know what you're getting into since I have no idea where to stop writing and it's expected to be a long story! I couldn't fit everything in the Summary or Tags because the list goes on and on. Hope this helps!

**_INDEX_ **

* * *

  _ **MAIN CHARACTERS**_

Anti-Alonso Donovan Magnifico

Anti-Cupid (Alias: Anti-Cupido)

Anti-Cosmo Julius Cosma

Anti-Juandissimo Magnifico (Alias: Anti-Juanísimo)

Aphrodite (General Cherub)

Cosmo Julius Cosma Cupid (Alias: Amor)

Head Pixie

Jorgen Von Strangle

Juandissimo Magnifico

Nega-Cosmo Anti-Cosmo

Nega-Cosmo Cosmo

Remy Buxaplenty

Sanderson

Timmy Tiberius Turner

Tootie

Wanda Venus Fairywinkle

* * *

  ** _MINOR CHARACTERS_**

Alonso Donovan Magnifico

Anti-Binky

Anti-Sparky

Anti-Tilly

Anti-Wanda Venus Fairywinkle

Binky

Catlady (Alias: Celina Kyle)

Chet Ubetcha

Chip Skylark

Comet- the green and blue-eyed black anti-fairy kitten

Dad Turner

Foop (Alias: Anti-Poof Cosma)

John Rosnick (News Reporter)

Mom Turner

Poof Cosma

Raven (The Cherub)

Susan (Caterwaul Nightclub manager)

Tilly

Venus (Goddess)

Vicky

* * *

 

**_RELATIONSHIPS_ **

**CANON PAIRINGS**

[Romantic] Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda

[Platonic] Nega-Cosmo (Anti-Cosmo) and Head Pixie

[Romantic] Anti-Alonso and Anti-Tilly

[Platonic] Timmy and Tootie

[Unknown] Cupid and Juandissimo

[Platonic, Romantic, One-sided X] Juandissimo and Wanda (based on past and present relationship)

**VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL (Not Story Canon)**

[Romantic, X] Juandissimo and Raven

[Romantic, X] Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda (This one is actually Canon!)

[Romantic] Anti-Alonso and Anti-Tilly

 **NOTICE** : none of these are of central focus! There's mentions of sex or sexual thoughts, but no sexual fanservice. The Valentine's Day Special takes advantage of using Romantic situations since the story is not shipping focused or a slowburn.

* * *

 

_**WARNINGS** _

Mild Violence, Mild Non-Graphic mentions of Blood and Injuries, Alcohol, Near Character Death, Suggestive Themes, Mild Language, Domestic Abuse (violence) in a demonstration, Hypnosis, Fantastic Racism, Kidnapping, Swashbuckling (Sword Fights), use of chloroform. I'll add more if I missed any! Or notify me on PM.

 **NOTICE** : this story includes characters with Bipolar Disorder (Anti-Cosmo), Conduct Disorder (Remy Buxaplenty), ADHD (Timmy), and Dissociative Identity Disorder (Foop). I don't mention these in the story but thought it was important to add!


	2. 00: Friday the 13th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the beginning, these chapters will be incredibly short but get longer as the story progresses. I would advise to new readers to not take this chapter for face value. My writing is a continual improvement that I've recently gotten back into after 9 years and it has shown! Reviews aren't necessary but I appreciate all the support that's given and I don't plan to stop writing any time soon. Thank you for simply taking the time to read. It _does_ mean a lot! :)

_**FRIDAY THE 13TH** _

Chapter 00: PROLOGUE

* * *

 

Timmy was peacefully resting snuggled between warm and comfy purple blankets. His godparents were up 30 minutes before Timmy's alarm clock went off. Wanda floated over Poof's bed. She gently nudged the five year old, getting him out of Slumberland. "Wake up, Poof dear. Come out and greet the day!"

Poof groaned. He rolled over the opposite of his mother. When he did, his father was floating there with hands on his hips. "Now, now, Poof. We won't have this conversation." Cosmo ripped the covers off his son and threw them across the room. The fairy child snarled, standing up on the bed, "That's more like it. Come on! Your mom has prepared breakfast for us!" Cosmo ruffled his son's hair leaving a kiss on his forehead before Wanda and him left the room.

Wanda opened the fridge, fishing out a quart of milk. When she closed the door, checking the calendar, she did a double take and gasped. Cosmo's eyes snapped open. "Cosmo, do have any idea what today is?"

Cosmo crossed an arm around his waist, a hand under his chin, "Uhhh… Friday?"

"It's Friday the 13th!"

Cosmo relaxed, "Oooh…" then realization dawned, his hands on each temple, "WHAT?" He flew to his wife with shaky hands on her shoulders, "WE MUST WARN TIMMY!" He -poof-ed them both out the kitchen.

Poof shrugged as he grabbed a piece of toast, "More for me!"


	3. 01: Invitation to Badluck

**_INVITATION_ ** _**TO BADLUCK** _

Chapter 01

* * *

Timmy was still asleep when all of a sudden a pair of beating chimes rung in his ears. He screamed, falling out of bed making a loud thud on the floor, followed by an 'oomph'. "Hey! What's the big idea?!"

Cosmo -poof-ed back to normal, grabbing a hold of Timmy's baby blue pajama shirt by the collar. "Timmy, it's an emergency!"

From the room below, Timmy's Dad asked what the commotion was. "Uh… nothing! I just had a nightmare."

"Okay, son!"

Timmy whispered grumpily. "How big's the trouble? And you better have a good excuse!"

"Timmy, it's Friday the 13th! You know what that means?"

"It means I'm about to strangle you, and become horribly frightened by bad luck," he scoffed. "Big whoop!"

"'Big whoop', huh?" A British voice cooed out of the blue. Timmy and Cosmo automatically knew whose voice that belonged to. From the window sill of Timmy's room stood the leader of Anti-Fairy World with his wife; dressed as mail people. The blue haired, blue skinned anti-fairy flew over towards the two. "Ello, Mr. Turner! Glad to see us?"

Timmy closed his eyes taking a deep breath, "Hmmm… what should a 15 year old teenage boy say on such a lovely morning? Let me think… No."

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda's hearts crushed. "Awww… can we at least do something to cheer you up?" A thought came to mind, a curled hand hit his palm. "I have it!" He placed a cool finger on Timmy's nose, "Close your eyes. No peeking! I have an early Valentine's I want to give you."

Timmy blinked, he couldn't imagine his arch nemesis giving him a Valentine. "...Fine…," he agreed reluctantly as Anti-Wanda covered his eyes.

"Are you ready?"

Timmy nodded.

"O… kay… Open them!" When Anti-Wanda pulled her hands away, Timmy was curious what his tired eyes gazed upon.

In the hands of Anti-Cosmo held a green and blue glitter eyed black cat plush with a small card on it's collar. In the other hand held a rectangle shaped box wrapped in cosmic paper tied together with shiny green ribbon. Another card came paired with this gift too. The anti-fairy wore a genuine smile rather than a smirk. Something about these had to be special.

Timmy arched an eyebrow suspiciously, baffled by the anti-fairies' kindness. This isn't the real Anti-Cosmo, he thought.

The anti-fairy passed the said star wrapped present with excited eagerness in both his and Anti-Wanda's eyes. "Here- I'd like you to open this first. It's something precious we've kept dearly for five years. I thought now would be an excellent opportunity to present it to you."

Timmy gave a Anti-Cosmo a quizzical look before taking the gift and gently sat on the floor. He began by untying the ribbon, then placed the envelope on his knee. As Timmy continued unwrapping the paper, tossing it aside, the box accidentally opened itself revealing a picture frame reflecting off the sunlight. He held it up for a closer look.

The teenager let out an unexpected gasp of shock. Cosmo, Wanda and Poof quickly flew over to him. "What is it?" Wanda asked. Timmy couldn't answer fast enough.

Anti-Cosmo answered for him, "It's the photo of us that Anti-Wanda took when we first met on Friday the 13th five years ago! Call it an anniversary gift." He took the skull framed picture, "My, my, you were so small then." Lost in memories, a ring came from Anti-Cosmo's wrist watch. He rolled his sleeve up to discover it was already 7:30 am. He quickly gave it back and cleared his throat, "Well, Turner it was nice catching up with you, but I'm afraid we have bad luck like business to attend to. Bad luck isn't going to unleash itself."

He ruffled his hair and both anti-fairies kissed him on the forehead before  _poof_ -ing out of the Turner house. Timmy and Poof stuck their tongues out in disgust, "Yuck!"

Anti-Wanda came back stretching the blue cloud portal, dropping the cat in his lap. "Y'all gonna needs this!" The portal closed.


	4. 02: Transcending Cheesiness

**_TRANSCENDING_ ** **_CHEESINESS_ **

Chapter 02

* * *

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda teleported to their castle, back to wearing their normal clothes. They casually entered through the huge volcanic stone structure. The halls were empty of anyone except Anti-Alonso, their trusty butler. He bowed respectfully as he opened the dining room door. "Good morning, Master. Every member of the union have arrived on schedule."

"Thanks, Anti-Alonso." Anti-Cosmo turned his head as he floated in and beckoned him, "Come join us!"

"As you wish," the peculiar violet pupil, dark violet iris eyed Hispanic fairy nodded, closing the doors behind them. The atmosphere of the room was eerie of flickering candles and blood red eyes. His large baroque chair down the opposite end stared back in lifeless horror. He began flying towards it, feeling like a criminal mastermind in his element. As Anti-Cosmo took his seat- looking more sinister with the fireplace making his body glow - he smirked with a crooked intensity. His eyes began to illuminate like everyone else.

"Good morning union members-," he greeted before getting interrupted by the wife. "GOOD MORNIN', ANTI-COZZIE," she sang.

Anti-Cosmo's ears bent backwards, waving a hello gesture, "Morning snookums." Then to his people, "Welcome back everyone! I know it's been a long seven and a half months since we've had our last Friday the 13th extravaganza. And now that time is upon us! By crazy fortunate events - we have three - count 'em," he emphasized with his fingers. "3 this year, and that includes next month!" The whole hall rocked in excitement. He rose his hand to signify silence. He slammed his hands on the table, "For our first order of business: bad luck. How should we use our powers for this dreadful day?"

* * *

[ Story murmurs off to Timmy's room. ]

Cosmo picked the envelope off his godchild's lap, "Hey Timmy, open this. It may be important." The boy took the envelope out of his hand, Wanda taking the frame setting it on Timmy's desk next to the computer. He unlatched the blue heart sticker binding the card inside. He carefully pulled the rose designed card out. It read in cursive, "Be Our Guest!" Timmy chuckled at the cheesy words. He didn't know if he should take this seriously, but smiled regardless. Once opened, music began playing from one of Chip Skylark's newest love songs, transcending cheesiness. Timmy could feel his face getting warm, he almost forgot he could read. The card read:

'Dear Timothy,

I'm sorry we couldn't stay and chat longer. Time is of the essence, you know! By the by, we have another surprise for you. Something sweeter than flowers and chocolates! We're excited to have you over for dinner tomorrow just for the occasion. I left an invitation on the cat's collar. Take it with you!

Sincerely, Anti-Cosmo & Anti-Wanda'

Cosmo took the card out of Timmy's hand as soon as he was done reading. He eyes went wide in awe, "Wow," he laughed, "invited? I've never gotten an invite to a dinner before! You're lucky." Cosmo congratulated.

"Ummm… thanks?" Then Timmy gasped, "OH MY GOSH! I have to get ready for school or I'll miss the stupid bus!" He quickly untangled the blankets, throwing the wardrobe doors open scrambling for clothes. He fought furiously to get his pajama shirt off, getting stuck on his head. Once free, he threw his bottoms across his bed in a heap, not caring where they landed. He ended up wearing a burnt pink shirt with a thick white and pink flannel shirt over it. It was a current fashion statement for boys to wear pink. (Thank you, gender neutrality!) Then he hopped into a pair of jeans, and finally he reached down under his bed for a pair of sneakers.

He searched for his backpack frantically about to lose his mind. Wanda shouted, "Found it! Have some toast."

"Thanks, Wanda," Timmy gratefully took the cinnamon bread in his mouth, throwing his backpack on as he bolted out the door.

Cosmo giggled, "That's the fastest I've ever seen Timmy run."

"Yeah! I wonder how long it'll take him to notice he forgot his hat." Poof flew over to the headboard of the messy bed, taking a hold of Timmy's pink hat, placing it over curly lavender hair. The family laughed together.


	5. 03: Badluck Forecast

**_BADLUCK_ ** _**FORECAST** _

Chapter 03

* * *

Cupid sat comfortably in the big fuzzy heart-shaped chair of the conference room, his ankles crossed on top the table. Cherubs occupied all chairs around him awaiting orders. He smiled with arms crossed as he spoke, "Good morning, people! I know it's only Friday- Friday the 13th, that is. And only 16 hours away from V Day!" He arched a summer pink brow, "Which is unusual... but nothing we haven't dealt with before!" 'Unless the anti-fairies are up to funny business.' "Aphrodite?" He asked the feminine cherub with orange hair and blue eyes, "Have all Love Arrows been counted for?"

Aphrodite picked up a clientele list off the table, reading the total, "We have… 2000. That's exactly twenty each for our soldiers."

Cupid flashed a smile to his assistant, "Great work, Aphrodite! I should pay you extra." He excitedly shook his hands. "I can't wait to see the smiles of every boy and girl we bring our gift of Love magic to. Right now we can only imagine the faces of the new love birds. Won't that be romantic? Just make sure that each and every one of you carries at least a few, 'Forget you were in Love' arrows in case mistakes happen. I want V Day to go smoothly for our clients." With that said, he fluttered out of his chair, clapping his hands, "Alright troop- you're dismissed. See you again same time tomorrow at the parade. Make me proud!"

* * *

[ Story goes to Timmy's high school ]

Timmy impatiently drummed his fingers on the desk. He watched with eagerness as the clock on the wall struck 3:40 pm. [ Dismissal Bell Rang ]

Everyone in the room shot out of their chairs and streamed out the door. When Timmy stepped outside, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a strange feeling, "Something's not right…" 'Where's all the chaos and screaming?' Timmy took a pair of anti-fairy vision glasses out of his backpack, putting them on. He was expecting to see at least a couple anti-fairies lurking. "Huh… Where could they be?" He searched the sky- nothing. 'What the heck is going on here?'

"Cosmo, Wanda?" Timmy cried out, the two fairies and his godbrother appeared through purple smoke. "Where are the anti-fairies," he asked. He watched as his godparents examined their surroundings.

"I don't know, sport." Wanda answered. "Neither do I," Cosmo replied. Poof shrugged his little shoulders.

"That's pretty shady."

"I'd say. I think it's about to rain" Cosmo misunderstood the phrase.

Timmy snapped his fingers. "That's a great idea! Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I could see what's happening on the News!" Their wands flashed, a television appeared out of thin air.

"Hello, Dimmsdale! This is Chet Ubetcha on Channel 7, bringing you your after school news! Our top story today- Friday the 13th. Why isn't there any bad luck? We go live to our hot- but nearly as handsome as me, Reporter John Rosnick. John?" [The camera switched to the reporter]

"You heard us right, Dimmsdale. No bad luck! How is that so? We asked some of the citizens if they could give us the scoop on this spine-tingling story…" What was on screen made Timmy blush in embarrassment. His parents were on the news!

"Yes, it's true," Timmy's Dad exclaimed, "When I came home from work after a hard day of pencil pushing and picking up my wife from her realty job, I didn't notice I had stepped on a crack in the sidewalk until it was too late!"

The reporter pulled the microphone back towards him. "Tell us what happened! Did you break your wife's back?" He pointed it back to Dad.

"No- Nothing!"

"Could you do us a favor, Dad Turner? I like you to step on a crack in the sidewalk and reenact exactly what happened to our viewers."

"My pleasure, John!"

"Awesome!" The camera pointed down at the sidewalk, zooming in on a large crack and Dad's foot.

"Here goes," the camera went into slow motion as Timmy's Dad stomped his foot on the weather damaged concrete.

_DONK_

Mom flinched expecting her back to go into agony, but felt relief when nothing happened. "Hey! I'm not in pain," she cheered.

"WOAH- such bravery. Thank you Mr. Turner for participating in our story," he shook Dad's hand. John looked into the camera, "There you have it folks. No bad luck! This is John Rosnick reporting live on Channel 7 News. Please stay tuned for traffic reports and your weather forecast. Back to you, Chet!"

Timmy switched the TV off, " That's too shady!" He turned to his god family, "Guys! This looks like a trip to Anti-Fairy World. We're off to investigate their little conspiracy."

Cosmo cheered, "I love investigations!" He changed into detective clothing, "Let's go!"  _POOF_


	6. 04: R&R

**_R &R_ **

Chapter 04

* * *

Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy and Poof arrived at Anti-Fairy World within a second. They appeared next to the Anti-Fairy World sign; the wind whistled. Timmy could see Anti-Cosmo's castle up ahead, a multi-purple color and spiked rainbow bridge leading across a thicket of barb wire. Bats screeched in the purple and blood-red sky; lightning struck and thunder roared as they neared the castle's entrance. The drawbridge was already down. Timmy was hesitant to walk in, and noticed the crooked wand tower was dimly lit due to the anti-fairies not causing bad luck. "But why?" He asked under his breath knowing well superstition believers was where their magic source came from.

Cosmo looked up at the large sign above the archway, "Anti Cosmo's Castle, Welcome- NOT!" He nodded and started to turn away. Wanda caught him by the wing, "Oh no you don't! We have a mission to do!"

"Aaah, why always me?"

As the family proceeded inside the castle, Timmy could feel the hair on his arms rise, "It's quiet in here…"

"And spooky," Poof added.

"I know. Just look at this place! It's a dump for cobwebs and dust bunnies. I wanna come here for Halloween! Do they throw parties?" Cosmo shook his hands in excitement.

"That's irrelevant, Cosmo," Timmy said with chattering teeth. "If this castle hasn't been dusted in a while, we could find fingerprints and what not."

"Riiight, and while we're at it, we could look for other clues! Like that letter on the table over there," Cosmo pointed at a card lying pyramid style on a guest list table. Timmy's eyes followed with a big smile, "Good job detective!"

"Detective?" Cosmo scratched his head, "Are we investigating something?"

Timmy walked over to the table and began reading the letter out loud:

"'To whom it may concern,

The union and I have decided by majority vote to watch Friday the 13th in theaters. As of now, we're not using our black magic to wreak havoc amongst the humans. Consider this a free day for fun and relaxation. We'll be back by evening, so don't hold your breath!

-Anti-Cosmo'"

"Oh thank goodness," Cosmo exhaled a strong breath of air.

"Case closed! Timmy has solved the mystery," Wanda congratulated.

"Phew- I'm glad that's over! Can we get out of this madhouse?"

"Would you like to do the honors, Timmy?" Wanda had her wand ready.

Timmy closed his eyes happily, "Sure, Wanda. I wish we were home!"

_-POOF OUTTA HERE-_

Timmy came home, appearing outside of his house next to a mailbox with a cherry bush wrapped around it. He remembered when his Dad planted it years ago. He smiled and walked up the sidewalk to the door. "Home sweet home." He turned the doorknob. It was almost always unlocked when his parents were home. "Mom. Dad. I'm home," he shouted waiting for a 'hello' or some other random greeting his parents would say.

"Hi, son!" His dad greeted, popping his head out of the kitchen doorway, "Had a nice day at school?"

"I guess," he shrugged.

"Sweet! Dinner is almost ready. It'll be done in about 30 minutes. We're having some of your Mom's famous roast beef sandwiches!"

"Cool. I'm starved!" He began climbing up the stairs, "If you need me, I'll be in my room playing games with friends."

"Okay- just remember to do your homework!"

"Yep, sure thing…"

When Timmy open and closed the door to his room, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof appeared. "Wow- roast beef sandwiches? I wonder what Wanda's making."

"I don't know. What do you boys want," she asked.

"Hmmm… let's see." He pondered, then immediately answered, "I know- how about something Italian? Lasagna and breadsticks anyone?"

"Sounds good to me! How about you Poof?"

"Yes please," he replied rubbing his stomach, "I love lasagna!"

"Game on! I'll hop to it." She waved her wand dressing in a chef costume, "TO THE KITCHEN!"


	7. 05: Thnks fr th Mmrs

_**THNKS FR TH MMRS** _

Chapter 5

* * *

Later that night while Timmy and the Cosmas were sleeping…

Anti-Cosmo looked at his watch waiting for Mom and Dad Turner to turn the lights off. It was 12:48 pm. "About time those imbeciles went to sleep," he declared impatiently as he lowered his monocular while sitting on a tree branch. He -poof-ed into the safe haven of his Valentine's room. He crept slowly towards Timmy's bed, holding a pair of clothes in his hands, remembering he could fly. "Oh yeah, right."

He left a note on top and placed them on Timmy's nightstand. 'Gotta look the part.' he thought while looking at the teenager. Anti-Cosmo wanted to watch him sleep longer but knew he had prior engagements to take care of first. He chuckled in his throat with a big evil grin, 'Soon you'll be ours!' He noticed Timmy shiver and gently pulled the blankets up before holding his wand admirably, then disappeared in a heart shaped cloud of blue dust.

He reappeared in Fairy World. It was night here as well. The anti-fairy stood outside of Cupid's house wearing a ninja costume to blend into the shadows. His eyes were very adapt to seeing in pitch black darkness. On his shoulders, he carried a cylindrical bag of rope, chains, duct tape and tranquilizers. He was sure he wouldn't need all this stuff, but liked to come prepared.

Anti-Alonso appeared out of the blue almost making Anti-Cosmo jump out of his skin. He hissed, about to attack with his claws ready, but calmed down immediately. "Sorry Anti-Alonso," he chuckled, "about lost my cool there."

"It's okay, master. We all have our moments." He rubbed his hair.

"Oh good- is Operation Love Loss going according to plan?"

"Affirmative."

"Very good! And did you give our gift barer the invite?"

"Taken care of!"

"Fantastic," Anti-Cosmo smirked "Now let's retrieve our subject, shall we." He extended his index finger and sliced a hole in one of the many windows of Cupid's mansion. The round cut glass fell into the soft cushion of the clouds. Anti-Alonso and him jumped through the window landing in a study room with various romance novels, spellbooks, and love potions locked in a display case. "Oooh, these might be useful," he rubbed his hands as he stepped towards the glowing cabinet. Taking a laser pen out, he burnt the lock right off.

While Anti-Cosmo read through the labels, Anti-Alonso looked at the romance novels in Cupid's collection. He had to have read most, if not all the novels. Every book was in pristine condition. Then he walked over to his desk and found a picture of Cupid with his anti uncle's counterpart, Juandissimo on a water ride together. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance at Juandissimo but laughed at Cupid's reaction as they plummeted down the coaster.

Anti-Cosmo was already half way through the labels, reading them out loud, then stopped at one in the Forbidden section, "'Spicy Subplot'…? What's this rubbish?" He arched a brow, reading the label closer before quickly knocking it off the shelf. "Oops." Regaining his composure, he continued reading the bottles until his face lit up, "'Make Timmy Your Godchild', how oddly specific!" He spun around to his butler, "Anti-Alonso! Keep this with you." Anti-Cosmo tossed the bottle.

Anti-Alonso caught the bottle, placing it in his vest pocket within his coat. After they were done nosing around, they opened the door to Cupid's living room. The room looked like a lover's suite complete with a loveseat, fireplace next to a pink zebra striped fur rug, and a giant wine glass filled with red dyed water (not blood). Anti-Cosmo would know otherwise.

He groaned in disgust, "They should hire a decorator." The room just wasn't his taste. Anti-Cosmo was more of a dungeon master, torture chamber type of person. He loved that tacky Victorian gothic look!

Anti-Cosmo headed to Cupid's bedroom before he sidetracked. The pink haired cherub snored, deep in slumber. The anti-fairies sneaked in, unheard. They split apart walking around both sides of his bed. Anti-Cosmo held a rope while Anti-Alonso held a syringe gun that would knock the god out in seconds.

"Ello your highness," He whispered slyly in the god's ear making the god awake.

He moaned, "Aphrodite, is that you?" Taking the blindfold off, Cupid gasped when he was eye-to-eye with a glowing pair of faint lime green-red eyes.

"You should have keep that on."

"Anti-co-..." he half exclaimed the fairy's name before he seized up, feeling the sharp sting of a needle enter his neck.

"Nighty night, mate."

"Why you no good sonuva…" he began to utter, ultimately dropping unconscious before he could finish the sentence.

"I know. Ain't I a beach?" Anti-Cosmo laughed maniacally with his claws extended high to celebrate victory for tonight's capture.

* * *

[ The Following Morning ]

Timmy woke up glad the alarm clock was off duty. When he sat up in bed rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked at his nightstand and did a double take. There were clothes lying on top with (yet) another note with these. He blew a gust of wind threw his messy hair and extended his arm out to grab the card off the black garments.

'Happy Valentine's Day!

Did you sleep well? These are the clothes I like you to wear at the dinner. I think you'll find something familiar about them. Hope they bring back memories!

Yours truly, Anti-Cosmo

PS.: Don't forget to bring your invitation. XOXO'

Timmy placed the card down and grabbed the clothes. He lifted up the shirt letting it unfold. His eyes involuntarily twitched at the black garment; it had a skull on it! Timmy broke the fourth wall, "This definitely brings back memories."


	8. 06: Love's Worst Nightmare

**_LOVE'S WORST NIGHTMARE_ **

Chapter 06

* * *

A couple hours ago before midnight, Anti-Cosmo had a meeting with the union and the anti-fairy god of Hate. He leaned back in his chair holding a glass of wine looking very displeased. Upon finishing the glass, he quickly held it up to his butler for more. Anti-Alonso made a small shocked grin before refilling it. It was the third glass! In a drunk voice that sounded similar to Cosmo's, he spoke, "So… Did you chaps enjoy the movie?"

A random anti-fairy rose their hand while everyone was downright appalled.

Anti-Cosmo smirked before smashing a button on his chair, sending the anti-fairy screaming down a hole under the chair. "Disgusting git!" Wiping the drink off his lips, he flipped the now empty glass upside down on the table.

"I have a new plan folks! As you could imagine, the people of Earth are starting to believe Friday the 13th is a hoax do to the fact we weren't there to cause mayhem. A shame. To make up our absence, we are going to use our untapped magic to help a special guest." To his right, he outstretched his hand to an anti-fairy with a black pompadour, wearing a shirt with broken hearts. "Everyone, I like you to join Anti-Cupid tomorrow for a party bash Earth won't soon forget!" The room applauded for the god. "You may begin your speech your Highness."

"Why thank you, Lord Anti-Cosmo."

"Pleasure."

"Good evening minions. Friday the 13th is almost over, but that won't stop us from having our reindeer games will it?" He got up out of his seat and slowly marched around the table with arms crossed behind his back, "As you well know, tomorrow is the day when Love casts its ugly mug upon the simpletons of Earth. It's the day of giving and receiving. A day to be taken by force!" A blue hand clenched punching his other palm. He turned to the group with sorrow in his eyes, a hand placed on his heart, "My, my… I feel pity we couldn't have our time of merriment." Then he smiled deviously, "However… tomorrow is a day we can channel our energy and unleash a can of whoop-ass! My plan? Is to use our mischievous magic to cause Love's worst nightmare…"

Anti-Wanda whispered to Anti-Cosmo as she grabbed an angry fish from her back pocket, "Oh, I hope he says piranha!"

"HATE!"

"Well darn," she threw it backwards, Anti-Alonso catching it in a net. "I'll have you later," he licked his fangs.

"And most certainly, I have plenty to go around," on his back, he pulled a menacing green arrow from its quiver. Anti-Cupid held it up so everyone could get a good view.

The group awed the arrow in curiosity, "This my anti-fairy brothers and sisters is called a "Hate Arrow". Its powers of repulsion and impotence is very potent when pricked on its victim; almost like poison! Its wicked scary," He wiggled his clawed fingers. He jumped up on the table, spreading his empty hand out, "Who would like to volunteer in a Hate experiment? Anyone," when no one answered he exclaimed, "I said… anyone! If you won't take it for the team, I'll choose."

With a surprised gasp from the union, Anti-Cosmo held his wife's hand and hopped on the table putting a daring hand on his hip, "Do your worst!"

Anti-Wanda blinked and chuckled, "My Anti-Cozzie, ya sure is brave!"

Anti-Cupid's grin quickly vanished in absolute bewilderment. He was thrown off so bad, he stuttered, "Are you sure?"

Anti-Cosmo nodded, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

"But-"

"Don't dilly dally, my patience is wearing thin!"

Anti-Cupid closed his eyes and shrugged, "Alright, we'll have it your way." He marched towards the couple, wrapping his arms around their shoulders. "Thank you victims, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda. This makes me feel incredibly honored." He licked his lips and nudged them apart, "Witness folks as a married couple have a hostile confrontation." He backed up slowly holding his onyx bow, aiming a pair of green arrows.

_...SWISH, SWISH…_

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda yelped, the sting of the arrows quickly taking effect. The anti-fairies' eyes burned with a fiery passion, teeth gritting and hands clenching.

"Die," Anti-Wanda hissed.

Anti-Cosmo popped his neck and smirked, "After you, snookums."

They both got into their fighting stances. Anti-Wanda made the first move by clumsily throwing her fist at her husband, hitting air, originally going for his face. He laughed at her mockingly. While she was thrown off balance, Anti-Cosmo took advantage by tying his arm around her waist executing a suplex. She landed flat on her back, air escaping her lungs. Anti-Wanda recovered quickly and rolled over to get back on her feet.

Anti-Cosmo stood up right when she did. She gazed at him still panting, "Nice move. Betcha can't dodge this!" She roughly dragged her feet on the table- left then right. With a dash, she charged at him like a bull in a rodeo.

"Oh poo." His ears bent back.

_-CRASH-_

Anti-Cosmo screamed in pain as he flew backwards, landing on his back in an awkward position. He landed on his shoulders, arms spread and legs that limp lazily over his head. They crashed to the ground after a few seconds, his legs now spread like his arms. He moaned as his eyes spun, hallucinating birds flying around. "Ooh- pretty birdies," then he fainted.

_-SPLASH-_

Anti-Cosmo woke up immediately, Anti-Wanda shivering from the cold that swept her. Anti-Cupid had spilt a bucket of water on them, the water breaking them free of the arrow's spell. He smiled, putting the bucket under his left arm. A laugh, "That was entertaining!" He then spoke to the sprawled anti-fairy, "Oh my, Mr. Anti-Cosmo Julius Cosma, you lost to your wife! How embarrassing," he chuckled. Everyone laughed as well.

Anti-Cosmo growled, "NOBODY CALLS ME BY MY FULL NAME, DOGGONE IT!" he shouted, his body shaking furiously.

"Yikes- someone's grumpy. If I may have your attention again?" Every member listened, "The water I poured on them isn't any ordinary water you find in a lake. This water came from The Fountain of Remembrance. A fountain that brings your memory back before you were struck by a Hate arrow. I have tried harnessing this power in the form of arrows to no avail." He shrugged.

"However, Cupid has found a way to tame the power of Lake Forgetfulness. Ironic though- that should be my department," he pointed at himself with a thumb.

"So sad, and probably for a good reason," Anti-Cosmo chuckled.

"Oh really," Anti-Cupid cocked a brow, "Care to explain, Mr. Anti-Julius?"

"Why certainly, Mr. God of All That is Annoying!" He elbowed his wife's elbow, "Care to tell him, Anti-Wanda?"

She smiled a smile of crooked teeth and nodded, "Yeah! Because he's teh god of Hate!"

"BINGO!" Anti-Cupid did finger guns.

"Tell us more! I'm just dying to hear the rest," Anti-Cosmo crossed his arms.

Anti-Cupid sighed, "The problem is, I can't control the Lake of Forgetfulness cuz then there'd be a power imbalance. Therefore, we both have 50/50 of Love and Hate at our disposal." He stopped for a moment when he realized Anti-Cosmo was holding back laughs. "YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS AREN'T YOU?!"

Anti-Cosmo touched his chin, "Indubitably."

Anti-Cupid put a hand on his hip, "Tee hee. Now, where was I? AH YES. I believe this is the part where we receive our Valentine's. You may reach under your chairs." Every anti-fairy did as instructed and found a bow and quiver full of the green arrows. "These, my friends, will be your toys to play with along with my troop. We're going to use these bad boys to spread the Hate! Won't that be fun? Just imagine all the hearts we're going to break!" He frowned when got no feedback, "You may applaud, please."

Everyone cheered in unison. Anti-Cupid smiled, "Now that's more like it. We have a big day ahead of us. Get some rest and I'll see you recruits at the rainbow bridge tomorrow."

Anti-Cosmo clapped his hands, "You're dismissed." All the members disappeared except for Anti-Wanda and Anti-Alonso. As the butler opened the door to let Anti-Wanda out of the dining hall, Anti-Cosmo leaned against the wall next to the fireplace staring into the flames in deep thought. "Anti-Alonso?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I have a proposition for you."


	9. 07: Dark Rose

**_DARK_ ** **_ROSE_ **

Chapter 7

* * *

Magnifico was the surname of the Anti-Cosma family butler and Anti-Juandissimo's great nephew. He served the family for centuries and was relentlessly loyal to them during many hardships; even endured living apart from his lady love. They'd talk once a while by video chat with their wands due to her fashion modeling. He stood by the balcony window, feeling the chill of the wind in his hair and watched as the storm clouds roll by. How beautiful they were, 'but not beautiful as you', he sighed, eyes closed dreamily as he laid his head on his hands.

It was Valentine's day tomorrow, and the thought ached his heart. He wished he could see her and share a dance under the sparkling glimmer of chandelier light. "Soon, _mi amor_. I swear, we'll be united again."

He walked back inside and sat next to a large poster on the wall of Anti-Tilly. He laid his head down on his chest as his left hand dug underneath his shirts. Upon taking his hand out appeared a magic black rose that turned cobalt blue. It would serve as a tattoo until he gave it to the one he'd marry. He then began to recall why he served the Anti-Cosmas in the first place:

Sometime ago, a race of fairies nicknamed the "Deja Vu" (Paramnesia Fairies) were hunted for their mind controlling powers. They had the ability to create powerful delusions, forgetfulness and confusion. That was the sole reason he was hired into the family. Anti-Cosmo accepted him almost immediately, even seeming to trust him and kept his power as a secret weapon. But with this power came with weakness, particularly to paramnesia weapons such as: love arrows of any kind, anti-love arrows, including hate arrows. He just hoped Anti-Cosmo knew what he had in mind with that love potion he still had in his vest pocket. Once Timmy takes it, he couldn't manipulate his mind for long as the effects last.

He got up and spun around,  _poofed_  into workout clothing before doing his nightly routine. Once done, he'd rinse the sweat, wash his hair and dry off. He then got into his pajamas, shackled himself to the bed posts so he couldn't sleep-dance the courtyard in the middle of night, and would cuddle with a pillow to help him sleep. Every night would go like this, but worse around Valentine's Day. As he fell asleep, he prayed to a divine force that he could see Anti-Tilly at any cost, even if it meant putting his job or life at risk.

* * *

[ that following morning ]

Anti-Cupid sat on the welcome sign to Anti-Fairy World by the rainbow bridge waiting for both his troop and Anti-Cosmo's union to arrive. He rolled up his sleeve to check the time. There were 30 minutes left before Operation Love Loss began. He would begin this battle even if everyone didn't attend. He took a sip of sour apple cocktail from a glass (in contrast to his counterpart favoring bittersweet beverages) and licked his lips. Satisfied with the size of his army, he snapped his fingers and the glass  _poofed_  away.

"Good morning, soldiers" he greeted. "Before we get hasty and spread the Hate to Earth, have any questions for little ole me?"

An anti-fairy rose their hand. "Go ahead!"

"Do we have to wear diapers?" The anti-fairies worriedly looked at the troop of spiky haired anti-cherubs.

Anti-Cupid crossed his arms and chuckled enthusiastically, "Nope. But thanks for the suggestion! I'll keep that in mind," he winked as the Anti-Binky gulped. "Next question."

"What if we accidentally shoot ourselves?"

"You'll go blind!" he laughed, "Just kidding, but please exercise precaution my friend!" He pulled a metal diaper from behind his back and threw it at them. They caught it with immediate regret in their face, the intense weight of the diaper sent the anti-fairy crashing into the cloud.

The Hate god winced in response to the anti-fairy's pain, and continued, "Anymore?"

" _ANTI-CUPIDO!_ " A Spanish voice abrupted over the crowd.

Anti-Cupid's face lit up as he flew threw the crowd, " _Anti-Juanísimo?_ "

The Anti-Juandissimo wheezed as he stopped in front of him, sweat dripping off his face and spoke almost entirely in Spanish, "May I join you? Don't start this party without me!"

"Of course," Anti-Cupid replied in Spanish, "The more, the merrier!" He grinned wickedly as he handed him his own bow and quiver of arrows.

"How do I look?" Anti-Juanísimo said as he slung the gear over his shirt that was obviously too small for him, rolling up his pudgy stomach.

On the inside, he was full of mixed feelings. He thought he was scary and grotesque in ways that appealed to him- neither romantic or attractive, but as someone who made his appearance frightening in comparison. A trusted friend or adopted nephew worth saving from his pending death sentence. (But that's for another story!) He responded admirably with, "diabolical," thankful Anti-Juan was equally disgusted with romance and sensual love just as much as him. The second primarily because of Anti-Cupid's old age and Anti-Juanísimo's obesity. They both high fived each other and did their special handshake. Then a helmet magically appeared on their heads along with the troops. He turned to the crowd and spoke in English, "NOW LET'S BREAK SOME HEARTS!" Everyone cheered in unison as the two groups traveled to Earth.

The anti-fairy who was still buried underneath the metal diaper rose a shaky hand, "Is anyone gonna help?"

Anti-Sparky walked by sniffing the diaper and grabbed the anti-fairy's wrist by his mouth pulling him out.

"Thank you! You saved me!"

"What are yous talking about?" His stomach growled as he  _poofed_  a bib on. Before the anti-fairy could fly away, the dog ate them whole.

"Oh rats!"


	10. 08: Mirrors of the Soul

**_MIRRORS OF THE SOUL_ **

Chapter 08

* * *

Cupid was coming out of a coma, the drug wearing off a couple hours ago. When he came to his senses, he noticed he was naked (his captures never bothered to dress him) and tied up, but didn't know where he was. He was blindfolded too. The air was cold and humid. Rats squeaked and one crawled over him, making him yelp. Cupid backed into a wall and shivered. He screamed out loud, "HELLO?" When he got no response, he shouted, "IS ANYBODY HERE?"

From a few cell blocks down, he heard a voice, "CUPID, IS THAT YOU?"

Cupid smiled, relieved he wasn't alone, "IS THAT YOU, APHRODITE?"

"YES," the voice replied.

Cupid sighed, relaxing, "Are you okay? Where in Saint Valentine's name are we?"

"I'm fine, but I have no clue where we are!"

"What happened?"

"They came like a thief in the night..."

* * *

[ Flashback + Scene ]

Aphrodite was asleep when she heard knocking at the front door. "Who could that be at this time of night?" As she flew to the door, she began to have a bad feeling in her chest, but maybe it was nothing she told herself. A shaky hand rose toward the door handle as she gulped. The door opened. Her eyes widened and gasped loudly as she was greeted by two anti-fairies.

"Hello, love." Anti-Cosmo grinned, flashing his fangs.

She stepped back and noticed his butler was holding Cupid under his arm. "CUPID!" Her hands covered her mouth.

"Oh, he's just taking a little nap. Anti-Alonso? Could you so kindly take care of her for me?"

The butler smiled and stepped closer to the frightened cherub. She froze unable to defend herself with whatever the anti-fairy had planned. He stopped in front of her staring eye-to-eye, her heart beating fast. The butler's eyes glowed red and violet, and then the colors began to swirl and she couldn't pull her eyes away. He whispered a command in Spanish with a soothing voice, and her muscles relaxed as she became calm. In a soft fatigued voice she whispered almost sadly, "You don't want to do this."

As though seeing into his soul, Anti-Alonso frowned angrily knowing it was the truth. " _Silencio!_ " His gloved hand rested under her chin, "You'll tell no one." She nodded her head and he lifted her from behind into his free arm.

As the anti-fairy escorted the cherubs out, Anti-Cosmo summoned a black Rolls Royce. He opened the back passenger door and let Anti-Alonso drop the cherubs in the seat. When he closed it, he gave the butler the car key. "Here, I'm still a tad inebriated," Anti-Cosmo chuckled. He stretched his arms and yawned. "What an eventful night." He got into the front passenger seat and folded his chair back while Anti-Alonso started the vehicle.

As they drove to Anti-Fairy World, Anti-Cosmo asked groggily, "By the way, what did that cherub mean when she babbled: 'you don't want to do this.'"

Anti-Alonso answered nonchalantly, "Your guess is as good as mine" Though in actuality, his mind was racing. His master was now suspicious of him and he had to play it off as nonsense. His heart was torn and he didn't know how much longer he had before he'd lose his trust. The one family he served for centuries in one fell swoop to save Valentine's Day.

[ End of Flashback + Scene ]

* * *

"And when I looked into his soul, I could see two lovers dancing." She twiddled her thumbs, "Something's different about this guy... like he doesn't want involved in any of this. That's all I can remember before I blacked out."

Cupid sighed, "All I know is, our troop is without a general and a leader. Valentine's Day will be ruined if someone doesn't come to rescue us. How can things get worse?"

A door opened, silencing the cherubs. It screeched as it closed. A pair of wings fluttered towards Cupid's cell. He heard a British voice laugh, "Oh dear… you don't know the half of it! You're in Anti-Fairy World, and you are my servant as of today."

Cupid gasped, "YOU!"

"Yes me! I love being me- Anti-Cosmo, Evil Genius! Mwa ha ha ha…" He heard a key unlock the window of the cell. He cursed, there was nowhere to escape. Ropes bound him, preventing him from fighting back. Strong, sturdy hands picked him up on his feet by the rope on his back. He struggled only to get sucker punched in the stomach, doubling over in pain, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." The guy behind Cupid pushed his back, urging him to move forward.

"Where are you taking me? Why am I here? I demand you give me answers!"

"All in good time. But now we're about to have dinner with a very important guest!"

* * *

[ Story switches to Timmy's House ]

When Timmy got dressed, he looked at himself in a full body mirror. He couldn't help but blush. At least his 'evil shorts' were upgraded to 'evil pants' with suspenders dangling at his thighs. There were skulls on both sides. His shirt also had a skull on it. The clothes also came with studded bracelets, combat boots and eyeliner. "I look like I'm going to a funeral." Timmy asked Wanda to apply the eyeliner for him.

"Close your eyes, and don't squint," Wanda advised.

"Ugh. I feel ridiculous." Timmy complained.

"I know sweetie, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's Valentine's Day after all." Once finished, she put the cap back on, "We're done!" The teenager went to open his eyes, a little watery. He turned around from his fairy godmother and checked himself in the mirror. "Nice work! Thanks Wanda."

"Anytime, sport."

The object that was once a mirror turned back into Cosmo, "You know what, I really miss those shorts."

Timmy rolled his eyes, swishing a banded hand, "Oh please." He walked to his nightstand and picked up the stuffed cat, unlatching the invitation from it's collar. A hand came to his buck-toothed mouth, "Huh, I never checked to see who else is invited…" He opened the card for good measure. The card read in red and pink lettering:

"'Dear Mr. Turner,

You've been cordially invited to attend an authentic and luxurious Valentine's Dinner Party! Be at my castle by 3 pm. See you soon!'"

Timmy put the card to his side, shrugging his shoulders, "Well guys, looks like I'm the only one going."

"That figures," Cosmo pouted.

Wanda wrapped her arm around Cosmo's shoulder, "Aw don't be sad, Cosmo. You're going anyway!"

"He is," Timmy blinked in surprise.

"I am?"

"Why sure hun. Somebody has to keep an eye on Timmy. I smell trouble... but that's probably because Poof had leftover garlic bread." She pointed her thumb at her son, who put garlic bread behind back and whistled. "And don't worry about skipping Valentine's Day with me. It'll be back next year! I'll just spend the day with our son. We could spend some quality time together in Fairy World," she pinched Poof's cheek.

"Urgh, stop it mom," he grumbled.

From outside the window, Timmy heard the sounds of a couple yelling vulgar things at each other and saw another couple down the street throwing stuff out their house. "Yep, everything seems normal."

"YEEHAW," Cosmo cheered hopping on Timmy's back, "To Anti-Fairy World!" His wand flashed and they disappeared.


End file.
